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How to Annoy Your Doctor

Date: 12-Sep-2017

Doctors are usually a patient lot. Pun intended. They do not become doctors because they are patient, but they become patient because they chose a draining line. They develop patience by virtue of the hard work they put in. They are so tired doing long hour duties and studying the endless books, no energy is left to be loud or fight with anyone. If you are visiting as a patient, you should keep in mind these factors and modify your behavior accordingly for a meaningful interaction.  Here are few things that tend to irritate almost all the physicians, except the few who have attained moksha.

Self made diagnosis – Oh yes,its quite possible to have a relative, a friend or a mere acquaintance who had the same symptoms.  “Doctor, I think I have stones in my gall bladder”. Suddenly, what you think has reduced to insignificance the efforts of the doctor, the years of learning, the money spent, contribution of ultrasound and sacrifice of all the dead bodies that were dissected. It actually is a thought worth lakhs of rupees and billions of brain cells.  “You have made the diagnosis, now take the treatment also – you don’t need me.”             

Internet – It is Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde personified. The good guy and the bad guy. Internet emanates full spectrum of information and misinformation – starting from useful, could have done without that, confusing, wrong - to nonsense. Authentic information about bodily ailments is very scarce and limited to very few sites that can be quoted. Go by the sign symptoms on net and you can diagnose yourself to be suffering from yellow fever in India or a male can be pregnant. It is difficult for a civilized doctor to fight the malicious internet. Internet, till now, has not been awarded affiliation by any university to provide medical knowledge or degrees. Dr Gurpreet Singh Battu DM Cardiology (Internet) is a fake degree. Knowledge acquired from the net can antagonize a doctor with knowledge acquired through hard work of years.

Self-medication – We all have self-proclaimed physicians in the family or in friend circle. They learn their medicine fromother peers, TV ads, hearsay, their own intelligence and they tend to limit their expertise to the medicine avail able at home. It is like getting your airplane repaired from a gardener. Listening to a vet can be a much better option.Telling a doctor that you medicated yourself on the advice of a person who never ever touched a medical book or has not seen a medical college even in a TV serial, will detonate tiny bombs in his heart and brain. 99% doctors will respond – “why have you come to me now?”

Quack medication – Quacks are protected species. They are not protected by law, but by the lack of it. Even after decades of independence, multiple amendments to the constitution and innumerable sittings of the parliament, no one knows quacks come under whose jurisdiction. Taking treatment from them and then going to a doctor will make you endangered species. Most often, chemists chip in as doctors. But remember, they are qualified only to dispense medicine as prescribed by the doctor. Medication from a quack who has learnt the trade from his lineage, has the potential of eliminating you rather than the disease. And if you survive that, doctors’ wrath will do you in.

Telephonic consultation –Mobile phones are more of bane than boon. Medical consultation is not part of grocery list that you can order on phone. Doctors hate telephonic consultation for many reasons – prescribing medicine without examining the patient can be dangerous for both the parties, disturbing the doctor in the middle of something can evoke revengeful response and the doctor is denied his fee. It is advisable to use the phone to fix an appointment at the most. Plus, you cannot sue a doc for wrong telephonic prescription.

Talk to my doc relative –Doctor relatives can be a dangerous asset if not consulted in the first place. When they come to know that you are taking treatment from some other doctor, they want to talk to the treating physician and very rarely, such talks are on a cordial ground, more often they are show of knowledge or experience. Choice is yours – consult your relative first, inform him after you are treated or refuse to give him the number of the doctor.

Asking for guarantee – Doctor cannot give guarantee about his own body, what to talk of yours!! Human body is a machine that works non stop from birth, from conception actually,  till it finally conks off. Like every other machine, it suffers irreparable wear and tear. A doctor can rectify or replace only a few parts of the complex contraption. Science is yet to invent a perpetual machine.

Talking bad about other doctors – You might be trying to please him that way, and that might succeed or not, but you will definitely succeed in planting fear in the mind of doctor about the same happening to him. There are good doctors and there are bad doctors. You might be talking bad about bad doctors but that will do no good to good doctors. It sure will irritate both – good doctors as well as bad doctors.  

Okays, now we can call it – How Not To Annoy Your Doctor.

Have a healthy life. And just in case, have a meaningful interaction with your doctor.

 

 

Aug 11 , 2017.

 

 

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